Chapter 2 – Only the Worst would do such a Thing

“…….Senpai is out on a mission. Why are you all crowding their doorway?” Mash Kyrielight, Chaldea’s former Shield, asked the congregation outside Ritsuka’s room.
She knew Da Vinci had nothing planned for a majority of servants she saw standing before her, and was fairly certain that outside of the few now currently with Ritsuka, her Senpai had no plans with anyone else, atleast formally on the schedule.
It’s why I figured to come to Senpai’s room early. Mash mused, before studying who made up the group.

The twin serpents who despised liars.
Ritsuka’s ‘Mother’ and her ‘Shadow’ self.
The twin Pharaohs of the Underworld
The beautiful flower who poisoned most of who she touched.
The everdrunk oni.
Ritsuka’s thanatophobic bedroom guardian.
The would-be Beast of Pleasure.
The Elizabethan trio.
The vulpine Goddess of the Sun and her overly aggressive twin.
The incorrigible Queen of the Celts.
The elder Gorgon sisters.

They were an odd assortment, but having spent long shifts keeping the facade of their Master’s chastity intact, she knew what one thing connected them all.
Before me stand the majority of servants who we’ve caught trying to sneak into Master’s bed.

“Quite frankly, we’re conflicted.” Tamamo-no-Mae was the first to respond. Of everyone gathered here, Mash knew her to be the more level-headed one, atleast once it became obvious that it was impossible for Senpai to only be hers.

“Over what? May I be able to help?” Mash replied earnestly. Since losing her ability to fight, she’d been eager to do ANYTHING that would help her Senpai and make their life easier.

Queen Medb then pushed forward, before dragging Mash to the door.
“How do we deal with that?” The Queen pouted, apparently unhappy about what laid before her.

Noting the very cold air flowing out of her Senpai’s room, Mash didn’t really see anything of note, beyond a lump on their bed.
Senpai really needs to clean up their room, if their bed is that much of a mess.

She turned back to the Queen of Celts, confused.
“Beyond Senpai having left their air con on cold despite being on a mission, I don’t know what the issue is.”

A drunk giggle caught her attention, as Shuten-douji made herself known.
“Perhaps you should ask that dapper fool who is unconsciously trying to be the base of a door?” the drunken oni lazily pointed a finger towards the right side of the slide-in door, where the unconscious mess that was Moriarty laid haphazardly.
The oni quickly approached the fallen older male, a bottle of alcohol opened and ready.
As was expected of the hedonistic creature that was Shuten-douji, Mash could smell the strength of the drink from here.
Ah, she means to wake him up, akin to using smell salts.

Mash shook her head, figuring out what the lump in the bed now was.
“No need, Shuten, but I appreciate the offer.”
She quickly sent a memo to Holmes, to have someone come collect the dapper mess of a gentleman.

Mash quietly entered her Senpai’s room, before slowly moving the covers off the slightly moving lump in the bed.
Knowing the sort of lowlife Moriarty was, he had only shown to openly defend one person in all of Chaldea, to the point where he wouldn’t run away easily.

Beneath the covers, lazing innocently, was the Summer incarnation of Frankenstein, the Saber. Ironically, she was the bane of the Berserker Fran, due to her love of cold.
Berserker Fran was fastidious in her need to ensure power was never wasted in Chaldea.
Yet Saber Fran left a trail of cooling devices wherever she went.
“Mmmmm, cold~~!” Saber Fran murmured happily as she slept.
Unable to help but smile at the innocent Saber, Mash quietly left her Senpai’s room and closed the door.
No point waking her. Senpai won’t need their room for a while, and these servants aren’t quiet about their devotion to Senpai.

“So what’s the problem?” Mash asked again, innocently poking the annoyed beasts arrayed around her. With the amount of stress ALL of these servants had caused her, she just couldn’t help herself.

She got choruses of ‘Master’s bed is only fit for me!’, or different variations thereof.
Some very timid and sweet, others passionate and loud, and one very specific voice dripping carnality.
Mash sighed.

“What I meant is, why haven’t any of you done anything about her?” Mash was honestly curious.
All the servants before her were terrors of the battlefield, individuals who have singlehandedly turned potentially pyrrhic victories into outright victories.

Yet the slumbering form of a single Saber was stopping them.

“Because who would dare to rouse her and make her move? Who would dare force the sweet young Fran to move when she is ever so content?” Scheherazade quietly answered with a question, to which all the others looked away guiltily.

“…..huh?” Mash didn’t know how to process the reactions she was seeing.
The Queen of Celts, known throughout Chaldea as one who barges in and takes what she wants, whenever she wants, and whoever she wants, wouldn’t take her Master’s bed back from an interloper?
The Shadow Chairman of the Public Decency committee, who openly wore an outfit so obscene only a former Beast dedicated to Pleasure could even attempt to rival her, would allow someone not in a committed relationship with her ‘Child’ to openly share their bed?
The would-be Beast of Pleasure, who had tried to destroy the world just so she could have a literal earth-shattering orgasm, couldn’t wake a single sleeping girl to guarantee her own pleasure?

The Caster of the Nightless City began to elaborate.
“It started when I began my duties for the day, of cleaning our Master’s room, and finding our unexpected guest.”

The summer Incarnation of Nitocris then spoke up.
“My other Self and I came across our amazing friend worrying herself into a frenzy outside, and thought to ask others for help.”

The original incarnation of Nitocris nodded her head, agreeing with her Summer Incarnation.

“Thats when we found our beloved Nitocris looking for help!’ proudly boasted the Brave Saber Elizabeth, her Caster and Lancer Incarnations nodding their heads aggressively.
“We considered a concert to wake her, but that got shot down, since our Deerlet isn’t here to enjoy it.”

Mash noted how the Nitocris’ guiltily looked away from their wannabe Idol friends, and the sheer relief on Scheherazade’s face.

“I was just passing by and was amused by the specific group who was already here.” Shuten added lazily, already perched on a soft chair drinking from her saki bottle, Mash slightly confused as to where she pulled it from.

“Same for us, if we’re being honest.” The Gorgon sisters added, looks of bemusement spread across their faces. Mash knew they were thinking of ways to somehow involve Medusa in this, or into somehow tricking their Master and making both Medusa AND Ritsuka’s lives even more difficult.

“As Ritsuka’s Mother, it is only natural that we see what sort of person would so brazenly share our Child’s bed.”
The Berserker Raikou stated, blatantly ignoring the pointed looks the others gave her, considering how they were all aware that ‘Child’ was code for something else.

“We are waiting for our beloved Master to come back, so they can tell us honestly what is happening.” The Kiyohimes replied in unison, not surprising Mash that they were in perfect agreement.
Of the ‘lovestruck’ Servants her Senpai had to deal with, Kiyohime was actually the easiest to deal with.
So long as Senpai and Mash were honest with them, they wouldn’t cause any problems.
But even since the loss of Dr Romani, they had more free time, which meant they started getting pushy.

“I’m waiting to see how Ritsuka reacts to what the Kiyohimes ask them.” The lancer incarnation of Tamamo replied.
She would probably be the biggest threat to her Senpai’s life, if not for the fact that the Lancer couldn’t actuely sense lies like the Kiyohimes could.
Luckily, Senpai also knew to give her extra attention to ease any perceived slights and explain situations quietly away from troublemakers.

“….was…..opi…g…..sha……ed……ith…omeon…..” Serenity mumbled.

The quiet Hassan probably wouldn’t have had an issue with joining the Summer Saber, if not for the fact she had arrived after everyone else and didn’t want to exacerbate the scene.
Mash made a note to talk to Serenity privately about sharing her bed.
If we can’t enjoy sharing a bed with Senpai whenever we want, might as well share our own beds.

“I was honestly hoping to catch Master alone so he could ‘mana transfer’ my brains out, since I’m a bit sick of most of the others here.” Medb stated, censoring herself in the presence of the Shadow Chairman.
Few were willing to risk that wrath, atleast over this, apparently.

“And I will not have you all sullying my Child’s bed for your own perversions.” Shadow Raikou glared in Medb’s directions, while a majority of the others gathered were very unsubtle in how they made a clear path for said glare to reach its intended target.

Sessyoin sighed pleasurably.
“I’m just here to work myself up over all this tension.”
Which made sense, since her ‘saintly’ clothes were starting to dissolve into light, her Bodhisattva form slowly and temptingly breaking through its outer shell.

“Well, its simple then. You have…,” Mash checked her tablet, for the projected time it would take her Senpai to come back home, “five minutes to decide, or I inform the Alters and Avengers that they’re services are required.”

The sudden chill in the air was Mash’s intended effect.
The Alters and Avengers were happy to fight anyone and everyone, and most of them could even force Raikou and Sessyoin back.
And Mash knew they all tolerated her enough because she was happy to be a gobetween for them so they didn’t have to deal with the Rulers and authority figures, that she would get a quick response from the normally hard to rouse servants.

“Come, Sessyoin. Lets have fun elsewhere. I think Tomoe will soon be in need of release due to some miscommunication between Ibaraki and I, and that should be enough for us both.” The small Oni took the Demon God by the hand and led her towards other prey.
Mash made a note to send a memo to the Kitchen staff to prepare a thank you drink for Shuten.
Few people could easily sway Sessyoin once she was aroused, but as a fellow hedonist, the leader of Chaldea’s Oni knew where to safely direct the more dangerous members of the demonic servants.

“Lets go bug Waver. I’m pretty sure he’s hiding something from us.” Brave Elizabeth scowled, leading her sisters towards the library.
……..followed shortly thereafter by the two who knew Waver’s secret, since it involved them both.
I think I should talk to Da Vinci about giving Waver and the Nitocris’ sisters some time alone, or atleast send the Elizabeths away for a time.

“Tamamo, let us head to the Mess Hall, we have much to discuss.” Both Kiyohime’s turned to their vulpine counterpart, dragon and fox entwining their arms as they left.

“Miss Raikou, we actually have need of your help. You are skilled in unarmed combat, yes?” The elder Gorgon sisters guided the Berserker away, apparently bored of the display.

“I don’t care, bring the Alters on, I can taaaAHH! Ouch!” Medb’s wouldbe refusal turns to pained noises as the Shadow Chairman grabbed her by the ear.

“Oh no you don’t. You are overdue a lecture on Public Decency, and I won’t awaken innocent bystanders, so you are coming with me!” Shadow Raikou stated as she forced the unruly Queen of the Celts to follow after her.

Mash sighed in relief, happy that this disaster had been averted before it could begin.
“Scheherazade, can you make sure Fran makes it back to her bed soon? Senpai has a busy schedule today, they’ll need their bed ready by then.”

The Caster of the Nightless City bowed deeply.
“At once, Mash.”

As she watched the now anxiety free Caster turn to her new task, Mash left her Senpai’s room behind.
She might not be able to join them on missions anymore, but she could atleast keep Chaldea running!

——————–

“Sleep tight, young homunculus. This story should last until you are in your own bed.” Scheherazade quietly stated, as she pulled out one of her potent sleeping stories.

Once she confirmed it had taken effect, she summoned a magic carpet from one of the more stable stories, to carry her charge to her room.

The trip itself was uneventful, quickly arriving at the room the Summer Saber shared with her Berserker counterpart.
But what she found inside was most curious.

Putting the sleeping Saber into her own bed, Scheherazade quickly approached the small sleeping cot that was tucked into a corner, on which her sleeping Master was now deep in sleep.
“Hehe. I wonder if Mash knows about this?”
Scheherazade smiled, and closed Fran’s door, taking her place inside the room by the door, waiting for her beloved Master to awaken.