Note: This is largely a back and forth sort of writing thing done between a friend and I.
“Dear god, her breasts are huge.”
Dr Romani Archaman, didn’t realize the true error of what he had muttered within the hearing range of certain servants, after the final summoning of the Onigashima pseudo-singularity.
Da Vinci ignored the comment, but now felt a particular desire to spread this remark among some of the more……..less than respectful of authority servants who might take issue with the current acting Director of Chaldea making such a remark.
Shuten-douji, always one for causing chaos among the humans, relished the idea of Dr Roman’s remark, even if it had been made about the cow who had just been summoned.
Kiyohime, who had recently started working with Dr Roman as his assistant and thought she had a good grasp on the man’s character (atleast as much a grasp on someone’s character as a Berserker was capable of), was stunned and quietly began fuming.
She hadn’t realised the creepy asshole servants like Bluebeard and Edward Teach had started affecting someone so important and influential to her beloved Master, and she would not tolerate this one bit!
She might not have many close friends in Chaldea, but the few she did have could definitely make Roman’s life miserable.
Raikou, the last servant to be summoned and the one whose figure Dr Roman was admiring, had left as quickly as she appeared, hot on the trails of Ritsuka, who seemed determined to go straight to the Coffins and get the next singularity underway.
———————————
Leaving the control room in capable hands, Dr Roman felt the urge to just take a walk around Chaldea.
Due to the intensity of the Onigashima pseudo-singularity, he and Da Vinci had agree to a 24 hour break for the whole staff, and since that also meant Ritsuka couldn’t travel to their next planned singularity, it meant he could actually leave the Control Room for a casual stroll.
He quietly passed his occasional assistant Kiyohime and one of the newer servants, a purple haired girl in a black leotard, who were quietly talking to one another, quieting down when he approached.
He gave them both a polite greeting, before continuing on his casual stroll, the sound of their quiet talk resuming as he got further away.
“Doctor Roman? Excuse me, may I have a moment of your time?”
A young knight took a couple jogging steps to catch up with the doctor. They looked quite serious.
“Huh? Oh, sure, Chevalier d’Eon. Whats on your mind?” Romani asked, unsure as to why d’Eon wanted to talk.
d’Eon typically stayed with Marie Antoinette, and she’d been rather quiet lately, which was odd…for someone…..as boisterous…as her………..
Oh god, what is Marie Antoinette up to now?
Romani began to dwell on this, realizing just how much chaos bored servants could cause in Chaldea without Ritsuka or someone they respected being around to keep the peace.
d’Eon cleared their throat and began in a grave tone, “It has come to my attention that you have let slip a comment that is most unbecoming of someone in your position. As you well know, you are the head of a prestigious organization now and so you must act accordingly.”
Although the Saber paused for a breath, they didn’t allow Roman enough time to respond.
“A woman may be beautiful and well gifted but that does not mean you have the room to make a comment about her appearance. If such a comment us made, no matter how well intentioned, it can raise the question ad to if the authority making the comment really respects those under them. As well as if they deserve respect in turn. You see, doctor, you must be fully aware of how you conduct yourself otherwise you may well undermine your own authority.”
Chevalier d’Eon spared Roman a look filled with disappointment.
“Truthfully, I expect more from you, Doctor. You are a leader to the Last Master of Chaldea. You must set a good example and not stoop to such a low position as commenting on a woman’s figure. The servant you were talking about deserved more respect from you. All women deserve respect and you must lead by example so that none in your care are corrupted by the vile thoughts you fell victim to earlier today.”
The knight gave a quick bow.
“I thank you for your time, doctor. I truly hope you take my words to heart. Good day,” and with that, they turned on their heel and departed.
Unfortunately for d’Eon, the concerned and thoughtful look on Romani’s face was not because he was actively paying attention to the Lily Knight’s lecture, but he was instead focusing on the sort of chaos the Queen of Lillies might be planning.
What is she up to? I know she was planning some Kira Kira land thing, which I diverted to Da Vinci so it wouldn’t get past the planning stages.
Seeing the young Knight run off, Romani assumed the matter was settled, and he could relax a little.
If d’Eon wasn’t confirming anything with him, then obviously it was just idle chatter. He wasn’t happy he had apparently ignored what d’Eon said, but there wasn’t anything he could do.
Romani continued on his walk, oblivious to the danger d’Eon had just prophesied for his future.
—————–
On his rounds, Romani managed to make his way to the area near the Simulation room.
And judging by the percussive BANGS and BOOMS coming from, some Servants were apparently using it.
As he got closer to the door, the ‘In Use’ light flicked to stand-by, and the door unlocked, revealing two servants.
“Oh! Roman! We need your full attention for juuuuuust a moment,” the tall blonde servant joyfully announced. Then an impossibly large rifle was brought into position, aimed right into Roman’s face.
“Just so you know we’re serious,” came a quiet addition from the small servant beside her.
Its very hard not to flinch when having a cannon masquerading as a rifle aimed at your face, yet Roman still flinched anyway.
Despite what they’ve been through, it seems he still wasn’t ready to face his own mortality.
He shouldn’t have been surprised either. He’d been waiting for one of the pirate servants to attempt something. Even Ritsuka’s presence could only calm that storm for so long.
“……you have my full attention.”
Mary slowly brandished her sword, pointing it at Roman’s chest. She stepped forward, causing the doctor to step back until his back hit the hallway wall. Anne wasn’t one to be left standing in the doorway and followed them, keeping the rifle trained on his head.
“You will never repeat the behavior from this morning,” Mary told him matter-of-factly. “Ever.”
“See ya around,” Anne chimed. Then as quickly as they had appeared, the weapons were put away, and the pirates were sauntering away.
Roman decided that, at some point today, he was going to find Da Vinci and quiz her as to why so many servants were accusing him of doing something, bad enough to warrant a lecture from a knight known for their purity, and for him to be physically threatened by the Caribbean Lovers.
All he’d done today was oversee the final scheduled summoning, and short of a Servant knowing how to read minds, he didn’t remember saying anything worth the lecture or threat.
……..please don’t tell me someone we summoned today can read minds.
With that terrifying thought on his mind, Roman headed in the direction opposite of the pirate Duo, since he wasn’t one to tempt fate.
—————————–
“Fufufufu, is that a Doctor Archaman I spy? You are just the human I was looking for.” a devilishly short and scantily under-dressed Servant ambled towards her freshly sighted prey.
Dr Roman……..had no idea where to look.
Shuten-Douji, one of Japan’s Three Great Monsters, a hedonist by nature, who actively reveled in the new levels of hedonism being an Anti-Heroic Spirit allowed her. She was a true threat to Chaldea, if it weren’t for the fact that between Kintoki being here and her new love of Ritsuka, she wasn’t the least bit interested in causing damaged.
She did, however, enjoy sowing chaos throughout Chaldea. Between her frightening intellect, the seemingly unnatural insight into anyone who might be inclined towards debauchery, and the way she almost passively tried to seduce those she talked to, being the center of her attention never turned out well for anyone except for maybe Ritsuka.
“……to what do I owe the pleasure, Ms Douji?” Roman asked the purple-haired oni, focusing his eyes on the green jewel nestled between her horns, on her forehead.
“My my, you find my presence pleasurable? And here I thought you only had a thing for cows.” Shuten teased, while slowly toying with her shawl, attempting to draw his eyes down and once again try to seduce the Doctor.
But by keeping his eyes focused on the jewel, Dr Roman noticed a twinge of anger when the oni mentioned having a thing for cows.
“Oh right, I almost forgot why I was asked to find you. Apparently, Sanzang is in need of a mediation partner, and she apparently wanted you specifically.” Shuten said almost languidly, seemingly feeling the full force of the demon liquor she was known to drink.
“Would you happen to know why Sanzang would want me specifically?” Dr Roman cautiously asked.
He didn’t have a problem with the buddhist monk, or her teachings, but he also hadn’t spent any time with her, that would indicate why she would want to meditate with her.
Pretty sure only Ritsuka actively joins her. So why me?
Shuten’s gazed tilted upwards, forcing him to look into her lustrously purple eyes.
“Excited to join her in her ‘meditations’, eh? How vulgar. No matter, I was asked to escort you to the monk, and escort you I shall!”
She started to take the lead, before Roman politely put his hand on her shoulder.
“No reason an Oni should show deference to a human. Walk beside me, as leaders of different tribes would.”
Shuten’s eyes widened at the touch, and blushed slightly at the suggestion they were equals, before that scheming intellect took hold.
“How bold of you, Dr Archaman. Fufufu, if you survive today, you may just provide me with a distracting feast, should the Boy or my Sweetie fail to distract me. Now come, the monk awaits to purge you of your worldly desires.” Shuten winked, before starting again, this time moving slow enough to indicate she was waiting for Roman.
Dr Roman was lost in everything that had just happened, to take in the underlying threat of what Shuten had told him.
The walk was not long, allowing enough idle chit chat that Roman had already forgotten his previous strange encounters of the day, before arriving at the room Sanzang was apparently waiting.
“Don’t keep her waiting, you still have others to grace today.”
—————-
“Welcome doctor, if you would please take a seat,” Sanzang said brightly. She was sitting cross legged on top a floor mat. Incense burned beside her. There was one other mat placed a few feet facing the Caster, obviously meant for any guest that came along.
As soon as the doctor sat, Sanzang began, not allowing any questions to be raised.
“Please start by closing your eyes and taking deep even breaths. In through the nose…. and out through the mouth… in through the nose… and out through the mouth…”
The priest allowed some time to pass to let them acclimate to the breathing.
“We are going to feel our body, starting with our toes and working our way up. Feel your toes and the soles of your feet, how they feel now that they are not holding you up…”
She continued like this until she finally completed the journey up the body. This part of the meditation wasn’t the main point. It was a class method to get them to a point where the mind was free.
“Feel only your thoughts. You are here. There is no outside. There is only you…. Feel your inner self. Feel who you are. Now is the time to practice seeing how you acted today. Be mindful. Be honest. This is who you are.”
Sanzang allowed another moment in silence.
“Find the parts that cause others pain and let those go. We must only let the healthy parts to flourish. We must nurture the goodness inside.”
A longer pause this time. Cutting it short would defeat the purpose of this exercise.
“Remember you are allowed to make mistakes. As long as you prune the bad parts and let the good parts to expand. Remember to keep breathing. In through the nose… and out through the mouth… In through the nose… and out through the mouth…”
Caster filled in some typical mindfulness techniques. Her own meditation allowed her to see Doctor Roman as fallible but able to correct mistakes. She would help him.
—————
After awhile, she led Roman back to himself, reversing the acknowledgement of the body so that they ended at the toes.
It was during this that the priest heard the door open. Sanzang finished the meditation and opened her eyes. Leonardo Da Vinci had entered the room.
“Roman, Kiyohime asked me to fetch you for her,” the Beautiful Genius informed him with a small smile.
Roman………..was not aware of how much time had passed. He wasn’t aware of just how much he had apparently needed to just zone out and let the worries of the world depart him.
Next time he he saw Ritsuka or Sanzang, he was gonna ask if he could join their meditations.
The Beautiful Genius quietly but firmly cleared her throat, bringing his attention to them.
“I’m sorry, but what did you say, Da Vinci?”
The small smile remained, but a hint of tiredness now began to show.
“Kiyohime asked me to fetch you for her.”
Odd. He didn’t have any business with Kiyohime today, and since he had passed her early without incident, he couldn’t imagine what had happened since that would require his attention.
“Oh. Well, lead the way then, Doctor.”
—————-
Da Vinci led Doctor Roman through the halls of Chaldea. For once, she maintained the silence as they traveled. She glanced at Roman. He looked relaxed and untroubled.
They reached the door to the room Kiyohime had claimed for her purposes.
“A bit of advice, Roman. Do try to keep your head, and listen to what is being said.”
She nodded to the door.
“Kiyohime is waiting for you.”
She turned and left the Doctor in Kiyohime’s hands.
“Ah, Dr Roman, how nice of you to join us,” Kiyohime said, taking the Doctor by the arm and guiding him to a seat.
She sat him with Serenity on his right and Shuten on his left. Kiyohime herself, sat down across from him.
Serenity took up the teapot and filled the cup before Romani as Kiyohime graciously said, “We’re very glad you could make room in your busy schedule to meet with us.”
She nodded to the tea and small biscuits before them all on the table. Serenity started adding sugar to her own tea.
“To what do I owe this pleasure? I don’t recall us having plans today, and since I passed both you and Serenity early without any word of this, this must be a sudden thing.”
Romani wasn’t sure how he felt about these three servants hanging together, given the nature of the oni and the dragon wearing a human skin.
Serenity was still a newcomer, and beyond the welcome tour he and Da Vinci occasionally organized when a mass summon was called for, he hadn’t interacted with her much.
But Shuten and Kiyohime were a dangerous combination.
What had happened to bring those two together?
“You haven’t tried the tea, Doctor,” Kiyohime noted with a distant echo of a threat in her voice.
At that remark, Roman felt all three sets of eyes focus on him with an intensity he was not expecting.
“Where are my manners? My apologies.” Romani said shakily, as he went to grab the cup the purple haired Assassin had poured for him.
The atmosphere relaxed back from the tension and Kiyohime gave the room a smile.
“We wished to discuss your… comment from this morning,” the dragon announced politely.
“You see… it upset a great many of us. It was quite…. Oh, how should I describe it…” she trailed off, looking innocently annoyed at the lack of perfect descriptors coming to her.
“Repugnant? I mean, the sow is known for her excess of fat, but a respected leader should keep those comments to themselves.” The oni sprawled as much as she could, both to make herself as comfortable as possible, while also enjoying the fact that Romani squirmed when more of her form was revealed.
Kiyohime nodded to the oni. “Yes, Shuten, thank you.”
Serenity finished preparing her tea and took a sip. Kiyohime took a biscuit and placed it on her plate.
“We do not appreciate a man that so blatantly announces his lewd thoughts. Much less someone with authority over us or our master.”
The threat was back in her voice. The dragon held Romans gaze and threaded her fingers before her.
“Poison can slip into so many things doctor. A glass of water… a small snack as you work… a cup of tea…”
Serenity plucked a biscuit for herself and quietly added, “And a poison can take a long time to kill.”
Kiyohime took drink of tea and then said, “Exactly. You see, Doctor, people really need to be careful about what words they let slip out. Or they might find the poison of their words coming back to them threefold.”
“…..what did you do to the tea?” Roman said rather stiffly, as he awkwardly put his tea down.
Roman’s mind raced, thinking over what the Berserker had said.
Was this her Madness Enhancement? No, it couldn’t be. Kiyohime despised lies, since it was a lie which ignited her legend.
So he had done something, or atleast Kiyohime was of the belief he did.
What was it with appearances, and the apparent need for lectures? As he recalled the rather eclectic meetings of today, pieces started to click in to place.
Respect. Feminine Bodies. Feminine servants known to either value Authority and take action when that Authority is proven unworthy, or to despise perverts, specifically targeted him.
What piece was he missing?
“Nothing, Doctor. It’s just tea,” Kiyohime said with a bright smile.
“It’s my favorite,” Serenity added. “I thought… I thought you might enjoy it.”
Romani, still unnerved by the wrathful dragon’s words, slowly gathered his frayed nerves.
“Thank you, Serenity. Its a bit sweet for my taste, but it isn’t unpleasant.”
Serenity looked over to Kiyohime, who nodded her assent. The poison flower looked at Roman, having gotten permission.
“We were hurt by your words this morning,” she informed him.
Serenity picked up her napkin, letting her hands worry at something.
“Um even though we aren’t… we don’t…,” Serenity faltered.
“We didn’t appreciate your comment about a certain servant’s chest size,” Kiyohime supplied.
Serenity nodded to her in thanks.
“It made us uncomfortable,” the Poison Girl continued. “Especially coming from someone at the head of Chaldea.”
Romans face started off as a deep shade of red, embarrassed at what was being said, before it faded to a pale pink, as shock settled in.
Oh no. I didn’t think I had said that aloud.
“……..who else heard what I said?” Romani said meekly.
“Well, it started off as only a few of us, but word spreads quickly, Doctor,” Kiyohime aimed a glare at him. “Which is why we needed to have this meeting today, as soon as possible. So we could make sure the behavior didn’t spread to others just as fast.”
“I appreciate your….reservedness, in dealing with this.” Roman was now a deep pink, a combination of the feelings of embarrassment, and the very sudden realization that he had come disastrously close to ending his own life on accident.
He quickly finished the tea.
“I’m going to go take a rest. It has come to my attention that I am in desperate need of sleep.” He quickly but politely headed towards his room.
————–
The dragon, and poison girl smiled, no longer baring fangs behind the smiles, whereas the oni sighed in boredom.
“Damn, I was hoping to have an excuse to feast on him.” Shuten-douji complained to her fellow conspirators. They weren’t as much fun as the Oni she knew, but this plan had been delightful.
“The Doctor is a good but flawed man. He just occasionally needs to be made aware of his actions.” the young dragon chided her new friend, before a sour look spread across her face.
“But if he ever starts picking up any of that scummy Rider’s behaviors, we should consider convincing Ritsuka to terminate that contract.”
Shuten’s eyes widen in delight.
Oh my, look like I was wrong, she might be just as fun as Ibaraki is.
She quickly took Kiyohime by the hand.
“Come to my room! You must meet my dear Ibaraki!”